The Simple Formula for Living with a Brain Injury is Not Anger

I’m not angry that I had a brain injury-

My brain injury and the story about it makes me unique and different but, all I want to do is help others and be happy, however that is defined. Find the answer for happiness and I’ll give you a cookie. There are moments in my day to day life where I pretend I am on the beach and I imagine the relaxation of the sun and the feeling of the sand between my toes and the smell of the salt and the sound of the ocean relaxing every limb of my body. I do this and my mind and body becomes calm and I’ve worked hard to wire it that way. But no matter how zen I become I feel like I could have a sudden hardware failure at any given moment. The hardware being my brain. 

After experiencing a brain injury that was acquired and not from an incident like a car crash, a hit to the head or fill in the blank, the notion it could happen again never seems to go away and likely never will. I imagine cancer survivors experience the same anytime they feel a fuzzy tingle or an ache or pain or numbness or any sort of unease in their body.  

It’s been almost 21 years since my brain injury, which was an AVM (Arteriovenous malformation) , don’t try pronouncing it, and I’m still getting used to living in this body. I have my days but I often daydream about laying atop a soft white fluffy cloud feeling no aches, no pains, no stress, no unease in my jaw or head or foot or arm and just being comfortable. 

Perhaps I’m exaggerating a tad but as I try to help others going through the same thing I’m starting to realize I need to focus on healing myself first and sharing those experiences. I’ve been slowly rewiring my brain through meditation, gratitude, optimsm and exercise and this is a daily practice that brings hope even though it doesn’t happen overnight.

Through this journey of healing myself I’ve been researching alternative forms of treatment or medication. Let’s just call them alternative treatments for the alternative person. Treatments such as psychedelic therapy which are therapeutic practices involving psychedelic drugs such as LSD, psilocybin, DMT, mescaline, 2C-B, and MDMA. 

I interviewed a brain injury survivor recently who has been miicrodosing with psilocybin (Magic mushrooms) and she says it has made a world of a difference in her life! 

The interview and podcast will be out soon!

Since I have awareness that I’m not angry at my brain injury, it gives me the opportunity to dig further into treatments, practices and functions that can help to improve the lives of brain injury survivors. 

I’m not sure if this is my purpose in life but why not give it a shot and be curious!

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